I have a wonderful husband, great critters, a fabulous family that is slowly but surely drawing closer and I have my bestest friends in the world. We are scattering across the globe, but I am happy to know that you are out there. I love you all so much! and despite some sadness, I am so grateful to have such a cool existence. Every day I have a small moment of peace when I think of you, smiling, crying, creating and it makes me so happy.
- Location:backyard
- Music:bill withers
- Mood:
bored
energetically i feel as if i am. dr. solomon says energetically i am... so we will know soon......
mark is outside shingling the "studio". it is a pretty darn nice studio, we could live in it if we had to. i'm not sure if we are going to little shop of horrors now...at least we are going to see coldplay tomorrow, which will be fun and a nice little pre-birthday treat. to go along with the new mini-vac, toilet and all the cute little planeters i've received. how romantic. a toilet. being frugal, i wanted to know what was wrong with the old one. he said it was too small. he said when i sat on it it looked like i was perched on a little bitty thing. the lady across the street was sitting on her toilet when her house got struck by lightning and caught on fire. that was sunday. it was the lead story on the local news....not that she was on the toilet, but that the house was struck. we missed the excitement, being in west virginia.
- Mood:
anxious
got to go git the crabs if we is gitting...
- Mood:
chipper - Music:air conditioner hummmm
For more information, and how to volunteer:
http://oncampus.richmond.edu/news/richm
http://www.blackhistorymuseum.org/burea
Please forward this email to anyone who might be interested in finding out more about their family's heritage, or volunteering to help with the extraction (you can do it from home, you need high speed internet connection.) This is a great community service project to join up with others on - get your work, your church, your friends, your family involved.
Well, Sunny Ray just got killed by a car in fron of Murry Chase's place.
I'm a little shake up; her blood is all over one of my boots and it's not even dried yet, and Zuli smelled it so she knows too.
Anyway, this guy was knocking on my front door; I have no light for him b/c somebody stole it. I put on my boots and went outside; a guy there told me that Sunny was over in the road by the south cottage.
We walked over; the guy's wife was there. I picked her up, and then Murrie came with a plastic bag. Then the guy drove off, and we put her in the bag, and I brought her home.
The little runt could never keep from running off, was the problem, as you know. Still, I feel bad for her.
I'll bury her in the morning, as the ground isn't frozen, and will say a prayer.
Love you,
John
******
this is the message i got in my email today. I am very homesick being in Richmond, and I didnt get a chance to go home this year and visit my family and dogs in upstate NY....so i never got to say goodbye to her.
Sunnie Ray Ray was very streetwise, having grown up in the streets of Brooklyn, but we always worried terribly about that road in front of our house in Upstate NY. Our house is too close to the road, and we have lost more than one pet to that terrible road.
ray ray loved to escape and run and be free, now she will be free forever. John will bury her up back in the woods; we have a little dog graveyard up there with stones that have their names painted on. Every once in a while we like to go up there and sit. Its in a little glade of trees, its very peaceful there. she will get to run and play and chase squirrels and rabbits with the other good dogs we have had, and my dad, who loved all dogs, will be up there too. she was a great dog, and i will miss her a lot. she helped me get through a lot of rough times with her love, and she kept me warm in the wintertime, all cuddled up together when we had no heat in Brooklyn.
I adopted her in 1994, she was probably about a year old. she had been hanging around during the filming of Sleepers in Greenpoint, being elusive was her way, and my friend Dave Greenboy who was a scenic on the film, chased her for blocks and blocks and finally caught her. I was home sick that day, and he brought her over to my house,along with a big bag of dog food, toys, and a leash and told me, "you need to rescue this dog" - and she became part of my family along with Maggie May, my blind australian cattle dog and Gumbo the black cat. Then Zulie (aka Killer who i rescued from the dominican heroin dealer) came along and we were one big happy furry family.
Sunnie was half chow and half golden retriever. she was one of the most beautiful dogs I've ever seen, with very soft fluffy fur. she had very perky ears and she looked like a little girl with pony tails. i loved her magic eyeliner and pretty orange fur. At the end, she was getting older, all grey in the face. She hated to be brushed and groomed, so her fluffy fur was always in dreadlocks. She would see me come with the brush, and would run away. If i got close to her, she would try to bite me, it was the only time she would try to bite me. she just hated to be brushed! I would take her to the Korean doggroomer lady down the road. the first time, i asked how much it would be and she replied, 35 if they cooperate... if not, it will be more!!! Sunnie always looked beautiful after she was groomed, we usually had her shaved down quite a bit, bc it helped with the dreadlock situation. whenever she came back she was very frisky, bc it felt good to her to be free of the dreads i guess... and she always looked like a little puppy.
i guess i named Sunnie after my upstairs neighbor, Sunshine Hernandez. her name just came to me, like all my animals names do. especially the ray ray part. if she was being naughty, she was REALLY being a ray ray. I would yell at Sunnie, and Sunshine would answer, "what!!!" we were always confused over sunnie the girl, or sunnie the dog!!!
she used to escape in Brooklyn all the time -- i had a big backyard, all fenced in. I would notice it would get very quiet. too quiet. i would go back there, and no sunnie. she would tunnel underneath the fence, and would be wandering along two streets away, on Havemeyer. just as happy, then when i would find her and scold her, she would just wag her tail. if i didnt find her, i would hear a bark, and she would be out in front of the apartment, done with her travels, and ready to come in. sometimes my neighbor down the street would catch her, and call me, "sunnie's here" she would be visiting him, in his art studio, just chilling out.
she loved the christmas tree. I always had it on the table with angels and other toys on it, and she would jump up and steal the ornaments, the angel from on top and packages and race out into the yard to play with them. she especially loved the angel. she also loved my runes, they were hematite crystals, she would grab the little bag they were in and take that out into the yard and shake it, and the runes would scatter all over. she was fascinated by them. sometimes I would do her reading with the runes she would shake around.
her favorite treat was a carrot with peanut butter on it. she loved that, and it would be funny with the peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth.
she would come and wake me up in the morning to go for a walk. she would know that i was awake before i did, she could tell if i was faking with my eyes closed. she would come up and look at me, and she would make a low sound in her throat. then if that didnt work, she would try to make a louder sound. it was hard for her to whisper, so the next sound would be a bark. then she would jump on top of the bed and tunnel underneath the covers and stand up so that the covers would come off me and i would be cold and would have to get up put warm things on. then we would go off to the park.
Ray ray was very protective of me, i never felt afraid with her around, even tho we lived in some pretty sketchy neighborhoods. Everyone was always more afraid of zulie, than her, but she was the one you had to watch out for. i used to call her Dr Jekyll and Ms. Chow Chow, bc she was kind of crazy, she would bite you first, then feel bad about it. she couldnt help it, it was the chow in her. she was very fierce and very protective. she would always sleep by my bed, she and zulie would take turns and would switch places during the night, one by the door, and one by the bed. Even after she and Zulie went to live up in the woods with John, when i would visit, they would take up their places at night, and even in the morning, when John would come to take them out with their new routine, they would stick by me, waiting for me to take them out like in the old days.
It was very hard for me to let her go live with John upstate in the woods, but i knew that it would be good for her and Zulie to be out of the concrete and able to run and play and chase squirrels. And John needed companions, and the furry kind are always loving and loyal. I knew that Zulie and sunnie, with their funny antics and sweet personalities would keep him company and his spirits up through the dark winter months when cabin fever sets in. it gets pretty cold up there, and sunnie and zulie are very warm.
she loved birds and mice and squirrels, she was an excellent hunter, and was always bringing me little gifts to contribute to our family's keep... one time she caught a baby bird, and i took it away from her, it was still alive and it flew away.
She liked to go up to my mother's house to visit her, up on the hill. Usually she would just nap in the flower bed, or go and peek in the window to see if maybe there was a treat pending, but sometimes she would sneak inside. She knew how to open my mom's back door, and mom would be sitting working at her computer, and she would realize she wasn't alone...
i think she save me more than once. she saved zulie's life once too. sunnie,zulie and john went for a hike up in the woods. there is an abandoned iron ore mine up there, a big old hole in the ground filled with water. Zulie fell in the mine, and of course she couldn't get out. sunnie ran and got john, and insisted he come with her, she kept barking and running and barking and running, very agitated over by the mine, so john went over to the mine and saw zulie, down in the water, about 30 feet, trapped. he carefully climbed down, and half carried, half pushed her up.
I loved you very much Ray Ray.... you are in the Happy Hunting Ground now, where there are always squirrels to chase, and treats to eat, and adventures to have.
john is pretty upset, i know it was hard for him to tell me. i wish that i didnt live so far away from my friends and family. i wish i could have seen her one more time. i feel very lonely right now. gumbo and fred know i am upset and sad and i am crying very hard, fred is licking my hand and looking up at me, with his beautiful eyes. anyway, i wish mark would come home from work.
--
- Mood:
sad
CAN ORGASM
create world peace? In our strange but true country known as the
Internet, the word is out on the streets that Friday, Dec. 22 is
Global Orgasm Day.
Being someone who thinks "every day is Global Orgasm Day," it took
some time (and a few reader emails) for me to figure out this is a
great idea: an experiment in using collective orgasm to shift the
energy field of the planet in the direction of peace, love and
understanding.
The plan is this: sometime Dec. 22, experience an orgasm, alone, with
another person, or with others, with the intention of creating world
peace and harmony. The creators of the event are calling this an
experiment in the effects of synchronized orgasm as a means of healing
the planet. I think (from looking at their Website) that the
organizers, Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell, have a clue about
astrology. With the Sun aspecting the Aries Point, we have a great day
to create a ripple effect in the world, where individual choices reach
out into collective consciousness and vice versa.
Not everyone has a lover. Many people are their own lover, some by
choice, and others because that's all that's available. I have a
feeling that a lot of these global orgasms are going to be solitary
orgasms. For a long time I've been tossing pebbles into the pond about
the idea of getting together with others and experimenting with
witnessed masturbation, and sharing masturbation among both lovers and
friends, and in small groups. This is less outrageous than it may
sound. I could theorize about why, and will not, at this point, but
these experiences have a way of being brilliantly liberating,
transcending ordinary partnersex, opening up a new kind of intimacy,
and transmuting shame and guilt into pleasure and love.
Here's another facet of the story. A lot of people who are alone
don't give it to themselves. Maybe they don't turn themselves on
enough, or maybe it's something else; some just don't think about
sexual pleasure between relationships. However, in case anyone simply
needs permission, I'm here to offer it, and say that the wave of
energy we're creating will be coming through the neighborhood soon.
Anyone can come surfing.
Now, can this stop a war? That would be cool.
Using pleasure as a means to peace works great with individuals. You
can almost see on people's faces who's had a good orgasm that day
(generally, in the form of a smile). Orgasm is a physical, mental and
emotional experience that lets go of tension and floods the brain with
pleasure-inducing chemicals called endorphins that really do make you
happier. Happier people generally want the same for others.
This is an experience of pleasurable surrender that helps us in a
world where so much surrender (of various other kinds) is necessary.
As for the multi-level aspect, consider that there are many times we
have a mental experience that gets stuck in the head; an emotional
experience that yearns for physical expression; a physical experience
that begs for closer emotional contact or expression. Often, we get
trapped on one layer or another and slowly start to go nuts in the
process.
Orgasm reaches right through the different levels, and has a way of
unifying our experience of existence. People who are in harmony with
themselves tend to be more peaceful and get on better with others.
Though it takes some inner freedom to get there, the last few minutes
before orgasm tend to be an exceptionally uninhibited time, where we
can experience images, feelings, needs and desires -- and do extremely
pleasant things to ourselves and others -- that waking consciousness
might otherwise hold down or deny.
Stuffing things into the unconscious is a great way to create chaos,
which usually surfaces as shadow material like fear and hostility.
These things add up, then we find ourselves living in a world where
rage and pain are normal, and where pleasure is bad. However, when you
shift in the other direction even a little bit, pain and hostility
tend to lose their appeal. There is a spectrum, and it goes not from
red to violet, but rather from control to pleasure. People who tend
toward one dependably migrate away from the other.
Orgasm also transcends differences of gender, sexual orientation,
social identity, language, nationality, house or trance, rock or
disco. It can be a profound moment of inner freedom that (if you're
paying attention) is really a deep cosmic joining. It seems plausible
enough to try focusing this on world peace -- and at the very worst,
it's hot that a whole bunch of people around the world are planning to
get off at the same time, thinking about one another doing it.
Granted, nothing is 100% true. Sometimes expressing sexual energy
makes (or seems to make) people more hostile, for which there are a
number of causes. One is repression itself, another is guilt (a
specific form of repression, in the form of self-attack that tends to
get projected outward). Another is a conditioned mixing of violence
and eroticism that is shot at us constantly, and to which some people
are extremely sensitive (potentially because of previous traumas).
Violent treatment tends to breed violent feelings, and keep the cycle
going. There are ways to heal these things, if we really want. It's
amazing how freeing opening up to erotic energy can be.
Given the choice, I would rather live and work among sexually
expressive people; in a house where people are affectionate with one
another; where there is freedom to speak freely about pleasure and
desire, and where different strokes are not the subject of judgment,
but rather encouraged and explored. I would rather live in a community
where people feel safe to feel and express themselves. I would rather
live in a country where the culture is tolerant and where people
strive for equality, which can only come through communication.
I have noticed lately that sexual rules are starting to relax. Who
knows, maybe the whole phenomenon is a creature of my mind, and I'm
projecting it onto the world. But the existence of Global Orgasm Day
says something. It used to be you would round people up, or network
around the world, only to pray. During the Harmonic Convergence era of
1987, something like this would have been an unmentionable act.
This was part of a larger trend. It should come as no wonder that the
people who keep dragging us into wars are the same ones who spend
billions on "abstinence education" that turns people (starting with
young children) against themselves.
Global Orgasm Day is an experiment running this so-called logic in
reverse. Maybe if we open up (and are open about it), we will find
ourselves living in a world where love is seen as natural and where
getting along is considered a wholesome purpose of living. Getting
good at anything, including being open, takes practice, and this is a
fine start: all the people sending out Global Orgasm Day emails are in
effect admitting to their friends that they plan to masturbate or have
sex that day, as part of a world movement. This alone is not only
progress, it's cosmically kinky.
I get that the real idea behind this experiment is metaphysical. It's
about minds joining, it's about opening up a dimension, it's about
tipping a certain balance -- or at least sliding the weights on the
scale.
But we don't really know the effects of a focused experiment like
this until we try. And whatever happens as a result of lots of people
getting off together and writing to one another about it along the
way, I do suggest that we make every day Global Orgasm Day.
How To Be Your Own Lover
The Other Sex (from the Organic Love series)
The Sun in Another Season. Photo by Danielle Voirin.
EL SOL squares the Tropic of Capricorn at 22 minutes past midnight
Universal Time on Friday, Dec. 22, 2006. Here is what that translates
to around the world. This is the moment the Sun ingresses the sign
Capricorn. But before it begins its northward journey along the
horizon, it stands still for a week (Dec. 18-26, when the Sun is at
about 23 degrees and 26 minutes declination), rising and setting at
the same time and place. After Christmas, the days gradually begin to
get longer in the Northern Hemisphere and shorter in the Southern
Hemisphere, but winter has just begun.
This is a difficult time for many people, particularly given that the
prolonged lack of sunlight has known psychological, psychic and
physical effects. We can indeed experience the dark side of human
nature, it can be difficult to stay optimistic, and the world's outer
gloomy quality can mirror something inside us (notably, it doesn't
work like this for everyone). Darkness is all around us and those 12
weeks till spring can seem interminable. (This discussion is not
designed to annoy residents of Australia and New Zealand, who are
currently bleaching in the midsummer Sun. If we have a few more photos
from you we'll post them to the Planet Waves cover.)
Winter Solstice has long been celebrated as the birth of the Sun. For
example, Isis, the Egyptian mother goddess, gave birth to Horus, the
Sun god, on winter solstice. In Greek myth, Leto gave birth to Apollo
(on the island of Delos; his twin was Artemis, the goddess of Moon).
Donna Henes, in one of the most useful esoteric books I've ever
found, Celestially Auspicious Occasions (out of print, but if you look
you'll find it), notes the obvious coincidence between the solstice
and Christmas. "Since the Gospels [in the New Testament] don't mention
the exact date of [Jesus'] birth, it was not celebrated by the early
church. It seems clear that when the church in the fourth century AD
adopted Dec. 25 as his birthday, it was in order to transfer the
heathen devotions honoring the birth of the Sun to he who was called
'the sun of righteousness'."
The astrology this year is interesting. With the exception of Saturn
in Leo, the familiar planets are concentrated in the last four signs,
Sagittarius (Jupiter, Mars, Mercury and Pluto), Capricorn (Sun, Venus,
Moon), Aquarius (Chiron, Neptune, Ceres) and Pisces (Uranus, North
Node). Eris/Xena is in Aries. Here are the minor planets.
Pluto is creeping up to its first exact conjunction with the Galactic
Core in nearly 250 years -- and for the first time since the discovery
of both by modern science. There was a near miss at this time last
year, a kind of warm-up. All through 2007, Pluto will be conjunct the
Galactic Core, making its first ingress to Capricorn on Jan. 26, 2008,
and, after a brief return to Sagittarius in mid-2008, it will enter
Capricorn for good Nov. 27, 2008. (Pluto begins its transition in to
Aquarius on March 23, 2023, amidst a massive concentration of planets
in Aries and Taurus.) In terms of calendar years, and solar years,
this is our last full solar cycle with Pluto in Sagittarius, and it
promises to be interesting as they have been in a long time, as we're
experiencing what is in truth the rarest event of our lifetimes.
What's it all about? We shall see.
As you'll be reading in the almanac and the Spiral Door, we are
entering a global 9 year numerologically. From her article in the
Planet Waves almanac, she writes:
"Nine is the number of diversity, dramatic situations, endings,
completions, giving, dealing with loss, letting go of what has gone,
emotional expression, sympathy, compassion, generosity, love,
tolerance, acceptance, creativity, evolution, and seeking the road to
peace. 9 must learn to keep itself together by only giving what it can
afford to give. 9 must learn to be more patient with those who do not
live up to its high ideals, and remember that each number (person) is
evolving at their own pace, in their own way, and in their own time."
We do seem to have a lot that's calling for completion, resolution
and preparation for some new phase of life; so we begin.
So many planets currently in Sagittarius, combined with the
Pluto-Galactic Core conjunction, means that your most active solar
house is the 12th -- the deepest and strangest of the lot. Themes of
the 12th include the deep unconscious, the most subtle spheres of
emotion (so subtle, we usually deny their existence outright), the
invisible, overwhelmingly large, strange fears; that which contradicts
normal waking consciousness; dreams, bliss, and surrender; and in many
astrology schools, death and/or ego death. The 12th also describes the
pre-natal era and the circumstances of conception.
Pluto tends to focus energy into an obsessive, concentrated
expression, and itself can focus fear, passion, and the profound sense
of transition into a tight little ball of intensity.
Yet because Pluto has been working this house since 1994, you are to
a real extent accustomed to so much intensity, indeed, this has been a
long era of your life involving facing your worst fears, getting to
know yourself on deep levels and in strange ways, and spending many
seasons poised at the edge of an abyss. What is different this year is
that it's the last hurrah of the Pluto in Sagg era, arriving with
Pluto's conjunction to the Galactic Core.
This is a phase of reckoning, and a preparation for another universe
of experience when Pluto enters your sign for the first time in early
2008. In many ways, it's an extended phase of review, and of assessing
what you experienced in the past dozen years, particularly focusing on
the very beginning of the phase in 1994-1995, as well as the first
major peak from 2001 to 2002.
It would be an understatement to say that anything you've decided up
till now is subject to review and reconsideration, and that you may be
discovering many presumptions you've made that you had no clue were
influencing you. The conscious judgments that have been so important
and which have shaped your nature for so long are likely to dissolve
like so many sand castles, as a compelling force deep within you
births a new core identity.
Externally, this may manifest as an ongoing self-esteem crisis, where
you strive to make up your mind that you really do matter to others,
or are worthy of association with them. Capricorn is widely regarded
as the sign of guilt, but the source of that guilt is rarely ever
acknowledged. Usually, guilt is the result of being turned against
ourselves and taking on the external oppression that we lived with as
children and subjecting ourselves to it.
Once this material becomes conscious, we have the opportunity to
reverse the process, take it over as an act of will and awareness, and
do what is called "claim back our projections." This will particularly
hold true for projections onto groups and organizations with which
you've been attempting to confirm or align your goals. This is a time
of extreme need for self-guidance in your life, for breaking free from
any situation where group-think is a factor, and finding your own way.
It may not be easy, but it will surely be meaningful.
NOTE TO READERS: As announced earlier this week, the weekly
horoscope, and all monthly horoscopes, are on hold until the Planet
Waves Weekly edition of Friday, Jan. 5, 2007. This will be followed by
The Spiral Door several days later. Note, the 2007 Almanac is a
separate product which will be available as a downloadable PDF about
70 pages long. Please order yours today.
Happy holidays!
- Location:home
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:dog and cat trip trapping paws
- Mood:
annoyed
soooooo way back in the day, i met Michael at Danceteria, we used to go there when i was in college, we used to get all dressed up and drive down from New Rochelle, or take the train. If we took the train we had to stay up all night bc there wasn't another train until 5:30 or so, sometimes we slept in Grand Central.
i did parties with Michael, oh it must have been around 1990 or so, for this little newspaper my roommate donna and I had called Village Beat. we did stuff with him over at the Roxy, b4 he moved disco 2000 to the LImelight, i think he was working for Steve Lewis then. he was decent to work with, i always got my free drink tickets, and i always got paid that night.....which is something you cant say about all the promoters in NY. i think the best party we did was called Superfly a-go-go which turned out to be Naomi Campbell's birthday party. she wore this big afro wig and an itty bitty dress, we had this fashionshow and everything was black light reflective and we did it in front of a video screen so it was all crazy behind us...we invited all the
squatters from Tompkins Square park, and there they were with the supermodels, and club kids, it was a werid mishmash...one of the other crazy parties was the Premiere party for Frankenhooker, Frank Hennenlotter directed it, his films kind of have a cult following bc of Basket case etc. werid kind of fetishy horror. My friend Gabe Bartalos did all the prosthetics and crazy makeup for it, he has since gone on to direct his own films, and he does all the prosthetics for Matthew Barney, his work is unmistakeable. that party was kind of crazy also, and i remember michael extending the open bar for us, bc everyone came from the film and there were all these freaks there, we had a little artshow of Gabe's work up, and it gave a different kind of eyecandy for the club, we did that one at Red Zone.
of course, this was about six years prior to him killing his drug dealer....at that time i was working at a club that shall remain nameless, and there was this girl, who was addicted to heroin, who i worked with and she used to work at the Limelight at the time that this all went down. I remember her telling us that Michael had told them that he had killed angel, she was friends with angel... and then i remember the cops coming to the club and taking her away to question her, she was really freaked out and never came back.
i do remember the assless pants, and his chicken outfit, in fact the first time i met him to talk business he was wearing the chicken outfit.
reading this interview was a blast from the past, all the people he mentions.... donna used to date Rudolf, and we lived in the same building as Larry Tee, the It Twins, Stephen Saban and his boyfriend John John Martinez (gossip columnist at Details and paparazzi), the Israeli Art Dealers - we used to visit them for cocktails and they had all these Warhols and Keith Harings, they had these amazing masks that Keith had made, just lying around, they were trying to sell them, but i think maybe they were stolen or something, but then we found out they were arms dealers also...
it was a truly crazy time, i was working at Rolling Stone and Premiere Magazine during the day, bartending at Pyramid at night and doing Village Beat stuff 24-7....
and now i live in Richmond and when i go to clubs its to hang out in Lisa's office and get the swag bag....
- Location:home
- Mood: chipper
- Music:dishwasher
talk about a trip down memory lane....this is about growing up a wild child in upstate NY on the Canadian border in the late 70s early 80s god bless us all that we actually survived intact
http://iamabadinfluence.blogspot.co
hehe and i particularly liked this one.... http://myfanwy.blogspot.com/2006/02/m
its about Rufus Lord. Rufus, in fact, all the Lords, were the lowest rung. Whenever we did something particularly heinous as Children, or were really messy, my mother would say that we were acting like the Lords, (meaning uneducated, dirty, filthy, rude, unmannerly and otherwise awful) and did we want to go live with them....which always terrified us into behaving and promising to be good. Theresa Lord, who i had a brief stint of being friends with in kindergarten, was Rufus niece. or maybe his daughter, Im not sure. she and i would sneak into a closet and pretend that crayons were lipstick and smear them all over our lips. then i realized she was an Untouchable and that she smelled. i never talked to her after that. she peed herself on the bus once. then she stole my purse in the 4th grade, and i had to tell on her to the teacher to get it back. we had to go to the principal's office, and it was very scary. the purse was grey suede with fringe and was very hippie hullabaloo and i loved it. she lied and said it was hers, but i had written my name in it along with my address and phone number in ink. i got her in trouble and the principal, Mr. Wood (who was a shriner) made her apologize and give it back.
The Lord's house, rather shack, had all kinds of rubbish on the roof, and trash in the yard, and part of their porch was repaired with an old rusted Schaefer beer sign. when we were on the school bus we would always stare at it to see how crazy it was. my mom would give away our old things to the poor, and Theresa would end up with them. she would wear my old clothes to school. it was an odd feeling to see someone wear my THINGS, and everyone knowing that it used to belong to me. their family was a full on dysfunctional extended family with lots of kids (Earl Jimmy, Rufus, Henry) and drunken uncles (Henry, Rufus) and her mother Serena was fat and tired looking with scraggly long hair, and would stand in the doorway and holler at the kids, and henry and rufus would kick the dogs and throw empty liquor bottles and we knew things werent right there, but no one ever seemed to call the authorities. we were always strangely fascinated by them, and confused as well especially by the fact their name was LORD (isn't that Our Father in Heaven?? and where was Jesus in this equation?) and in retrospect our lives were so leave it to beaver in contrast. My brother and Georgie Stackpole actually got inside their house once, raising money as boyscouts for cancer or some such, and he said it was really scary inside and they wouldnt wait for Serena to get the dollar out of her purse so they could leave and talk about it!
things kind of disintegrated on Theresa, and she got pregnant when she was about 12 or so, im not sure who the father was, i suspect it was Rufus or her father or some other relative, we always speculated. I remember her on the school bus, pregant and spilling her belly out of a dirty t-shirt that said "horny" on it...and just being embarrassed for her..i dont know what happened to her, or her baby, but this blog explains what happened to Rufus...
- Location:chilly loft
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:kitty meow
gumbo is tryng to eat my cereal. he is being really persistant and i should just give it over to him. he likes bizarre foods, he is obsessed with cheezy poofs also, and veggie bootie. he likes snacks.
i am reading 2012:return of quezlcoatl by daniel pinchbeck. i love daniel. i loved that he came to gaian mind this year and brought his daughter. daniel's lecture at GM this year was really interesting, and i love that i am good enough friends with him, that i can talk to him about the stuff that he doesnt put in his books, the really crazy stuff that would probably get him put away and he wouldnt even find this publisher, and its not really like this book is so out there. i like to tell him about some of the crazy stuff that has happened to me, some of which parallels his own experiences. its validating, in that he doesnt give me that funny look...altho he never did answer my question about what happens to people who live outside the calendar (somebody like me for instance who is sort of outside the calendar, doesnt wear a watch, never watches tv, barely listens to the news, doesnt really care what day it is....) he said something about people who live outside the established time, moving through time differently. i am wondering if my conscious choice to live as much outside the calendar as possible, is affecting my rate of aging. i havent gotten to that part of the b ook yet. this book doesnt read as fast as Breaking Open the Head, which is about the modern psychedelic shamanic experience... i read through that in one sitting and could really relate to daniel's experiences. daniel thinks he is channeling this information to prepare us for the mindshift of 2012, i think a lot of people are channeling this and similar types of info. i love when i meet somoeone who is a member of the family, they have that knowing glint in the eye and there is that external means of psychic communication. someone who just gets it.
i am becoming the hippie i was always destined to be... i am obsessed with sustainable living, i want to live in an eco community. permaculture.org i love idealbite.com you get this really cool little bit of info in oour email every day about sustainable living that is cool and clever, for instance auto week they did all this stuff about bio-diesel and hybrids and stuff like that... yesterday it was about eco-friendly mops that you can use instead of filling up the landfill with swiffer pads loaded with noxious chemicals... i know i'm getting wieird....
i have to laugh bc dynamo hum is playing, and i remember it being on the car radiostation from montreal in high school and my dad driving my friend roz and I somewhere and we were mortified and wondering if he was listening to the words....
so my reaction to the eclipses is that i think i want to quit my job. i have a lot invested in it, and i have after a year, finally built up a regular and fairly loyal clientele, that is key in my business, and i am doing facials....however, my boss is getting a little crazy. she is morphing into marcia kilgore from bliss....there is a lot of stuff that is really not adding up, and i am trying to decide if it is worth it to stay there... she isnt paying me what she ought, she keeps changing the compensation scale as i make more money so that i dont make more money, she hasnt ponied up the health insurance subsidy she promised six months ago, she is getting really schizo with how she treats us all....plus the spa is filled with stinky black mold... and is located in a huge portal and i deal with having to clean up psychic debris continueally in order to work there, as well as gently ask various entities to kindly vacate the premises. i should just think of it as homework, but it is wearing on my soul, and others are starting to take notice...today i really had it... i did a photo shoot for her a few weeks back. i was NOT informed that she had a trade with this photog (who was pretty sleazy i might add) that he could use the photos to sell as STOCK PHOTOS!!! today i find out about this, and he's already sold a bunch...he came by to have me resign my release form bc there was a aproblem with it... i balked at it, naturally. i've done a lot of photos in my day, and enough of them are out there floating around...i hate working for free, i dont mind doing people favors as long as the boundaries are drawn but this really made me feel a. exploited b. taken advantage of and c. cheated. Even photo shoots i do for friends i am usually compensated in some way - lunch, clothes something... and these are STOCK photos which will be sold over and over and over....pictures of my feet, my back, my hands. i dont even know. i came in on a day i had specifically taken off to do trish a favor... so i made a big stink about it, and she offered to compensate me for my time (which would probably have been $6/hr -- not worth it i think...) besides it is the principal of it. she is having a hard time with her integrity right now....anyway, i cried. and i told mark and he got a little bit upset and we joked about him becoming my agent. I'm very disppointed.
so what are the options. stay there and stick it out bc i still have a lot to learn... move to another spa and get paid more, and get my insurance, and hope that my clients follow me. work independent.
i'm going to go read more of daniels book... he got a crazy interview in rollilng stone that i havent read yet, but apparently it was more obsessed with his sex life and his friendship with sting than what he said in the book. hehe. i worked for rolling stone for less than a year in between some shitty job for a video production company and orion pictures and it SUCKED one of the worst jobs ever...
- Location:still in richmond
- Mood: sleepy
- Music:redhotchilipeppers (i kissed anthony once at continental!)
This is a South Nodal Eclipse, which indicates a release of the past. It is at the end of a sign, which also shows endings. As a capper, Sun and Moon square Pluto, which by itself can cut things off, often dramatically.
It is surely time for a new chapter, and Autumnal Equinox tonight-tomorrow will open a new season, a season when we focus on balance.
This Eclipse chart set for Washington DC places most of the energy in the hidden twelfth house. Included there is Juno, conjoining the Eclipse degree of September 11, 2007.
The Descendant is at 9 Aries, conjoining the Solar Eclipse of last March 29, which brought Hamas into power in Palestine. Israel’s progressed Juno is also at 9 Aries. I have found that Juno in mundane charts always indicates fear and victimization. (One example: Juno was over New York City on the morning of 9-11-01.) The Descendant ruler, Mars, is at 10 Libra, opposing the Descendant
Mercury conjoins Mars in Libra, on the Ascendant. Mercury, filled with Martian energy, will be crossing over Bush’s Moon-Juno conjunction at midnight, at Equinox. The next day Mercury conjoins Bush’s Jupiter and the U.S. stationary retrograde Mars.
At the same time, Saturn at 21 Leo is only a degree from Bush’s Venus. It will conjoin it exactly by the end of September. Venus is a major ruler in Bush’s chart.
Jupiter is also squaring Neptune, exact on Sunday. This is an aspect of both fanaticism and unreality. People are inspired by visions and hunches to make moves which are not grounded.
All in all, it certainly looks as though GW Bush is indulging in aggressive fantasies.
Moon goes VOC after the Eclipse. It enters Libra, the place of the Equinox, at 9:06 a.m., but makes no aspects until it conjoins Mars early tomorrow morning.
The Sabina Symbol for 30 Virgo is
“TOTALLY INTENT UPON COMPLETING AN IMMEDIATE TASK, A MAN IS DEAF TO ANY ALLUREMENT. The total concentration required for reaching any spiritual goal. The last message of this hemicycle of Individualization is that on all decisive occasions what must be done has to be done so intently that no outer voices can penetrate the mind, still less the soul. The neophyte stands at the gates of the sacred Pyramid. There is only one step he can take—ahead, or he is lost. The outer doors of perception and thought must be closed, so the soul can accomplish its CONQUEST OF ILLUSION.”
It looks as though the immigration issue is major this month, for the areas of focus for both Moons include central United States and Mexico. Europe, western Africa, and India also show up on both moon maps. www.daykeeperjournal.com
- Location:fucking richmond
- Mood:
blank - Music:my husband's power tools over Frank Zappa
i should be studying for my hellish national certification exam for massage therapy (ten years later i have to take this stupid test so i can practice in a state other than NY) but i am too tired to focus.
thanks to andy for reminding me what my log in name was....
I just discovered via gabrielle that sex toys are illegal in virginia. horrors. will have to further investigate this one! actually, i do remember co-workers discussing "The Rabbit" and buying it on-line... the cutest sex toy is the Hello Kitty vibrator....one of the funnest, and least effective, is the vibrating ring. best when used all in a puddle on your best friends to make them shriek.
our puppies, smokey and daisy are in the DOgHouseE big time... they went on a murderous rampage, literrally massacreing 4 of our chickens and guinea hens....(and injuring one). now all that is left is the red rooster, a red hen, and a funny looking hen who lays green/turqoise eggs.... this offense is punishable by death by most farmers... but we arent most farmers....
mark and i think we have identified the fertility problem, we think my thyroid is WHACK!!! waiting to finish filling out the awful forms for insurance, trying to decide if i lie on them, will i get caught??? in the meantime, i am applying progesterone cream, and eating lots of coconut oil in an attempt to get my body temperature up above 98 degrees, and thus stimulate my poor over burdened thyroid.
home soon, to play with our little baby goats!!!!!
- Location:Metamorphosis, Richmond
- Mood: tired
- Music:crappy spa music
so now i feel like an adult. like all my cells have turned over. and there is no going back to childhood.
i guess that is what it feel like when you bury a child. maybe d' was my child in a past life and i abandoned him and that is why i had to take care of him in this life.
i dont know why my karma had me have to deal with such insane horror as this. it was like being in combat or something.
but i feel clear and clean. so maybe a huge karmic debt has been burned out of my psyche.
i may or may not be having a nervous breakdown. jury is out on this one.
maybe i am just tired and need some staring into space time to recuperate...
- Mood: exhausted
- Music:silence
I got hired working for this cool guy David doing massage on clients for his high end health and fitness company, which will also be taking over the management over at the Hilton. it includes free gym!! whee.. And some other jobs are in the works, including a fabulous job in one of the most incredible places in the world, the Maldives, a group of islands just south of India in the Indian Ocean, currently 82 degrees...would i move there? in a flash... so perhaps i will save myself from being a happy ending girl afterall...which seems was the only thing anybody wanted me for last week.
and Scott is moving in, a beautiful ray of sunshine ever since i met him working at the Dalai Lama's visit a couple years ago.
soooo...things are slowly moving. In fact, Jens returned the missing parts of the vacuum so i was able to clean properly! and did laundry. and saged, so the house is feeling a bit more flow. and with scott here, it will be a little more social.
positive thoughts. and no negative energy blood sucking people. only people on my team with no selfish hidden agendas...
now if i could just manage to unravel this fabulous orange and pink yarn i am trying to crochet into something magical...
am feeling better after my visit to Dr. Fu Zhang, the chinatown herbalist, and acupuncture from John. Will be working with John every thursday, so regular acupuncture in the works. a little more balance. and i always learn so much helping him.
am missing Gaian Mind in Philly, but have what will be regular client tomorrow. its all about work. play can happen anytime!
- Mood:
determined - Music:Leonard Cohen
- Mood:
pensive - Music:Arabica
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